The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You had me at "let me see your balls"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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