he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
