Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
