you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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