am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
