Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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