"it" just moved
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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