In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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