friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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