Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
