Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
