Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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