***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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