his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
