Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
