Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
