No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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