Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
