how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
