so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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