Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I still have a little drunk in my system
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
