That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
