please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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