I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
