addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
