Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
and you fell through a lawn chair
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
