please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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