i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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