party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
