two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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