I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
