please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he thought i was a dude.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
