I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
