I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I am midnight drunk by noon
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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