HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
