im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
