I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
