Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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