kristin has been a bad kristin
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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