when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
