My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
