We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Sorry my hands just texted you
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
