I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
this will be a night to untag.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
