How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
