apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
