This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize