susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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