Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
How external is "for external use only"?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
