Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
