Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
