I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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