you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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