HIV tests are more positive than that guy
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
my poor anus
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
