Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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