two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
