I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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