Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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