Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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