We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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