i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
