You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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