And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
