so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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