I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
The air taste purple.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
