summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
